Ranting!

Whoops! I completely forgot to post last night *sigh* I even had stuff to say!

So, yes, yesterday I stayed at home again because I couldn't sleep all of the night before due to self-induced ridiculous paranoia so I slept all day instead. When I got up there was a decidedly snotty email from my supervisor telling me that even though I said "I'm too tired to function" I should still come into the office, if I'm tired then come in late and leave late instead.

So I'm going to have words with him on Friday/Monday.

I have epilepsy you see, due to stress and over-tiredness. Now that's normally my throw-away line, I tell people I have epilepsy and they say "oh, with the bright lights and stuff?" and I say "No, due to stress and over-tiredness". So I've gotten pretty casual about saying it over the years but you'd have thought that even a little bit of the concept "over-tiredness" would manage to filter through his mind such that when I say I'm tired that means tired *in a bad way*. I'm sure even you, casual reader, who have no experience or aquaintance with my condition can probably guess that it's not good when I say I'm tired? Perhaps not, let me continue therefore: the kind of tired that people have in the evenings, when they start thinking about going to bed - I have, every minute of every day and will have for the rest of my life no doubt. I'm sure you're keeping up with me here, "too tired to function" means (due to my condition) "I will not be well if I try to function" see now I thought that the connection would logically follow but it would appear not. Even a man who was on msn to my dad while I was having a fit on the phone to my dad has managed not to comprehend what this means. Admittedly I didn't tell my dad that I felt ill/tired enough to have a fit because he needed me to be awake, so maybe he didn't connect the dots then. But still "over-tiredness leads to fits" surely means that when I say "I'm too tired" one can assume that if I try to exert myself I could have a fit!?

So I'm going to have a little chat with him, no interruptions, and really tell him what this means. Because how *dare* he tell me that if I don't need to see a GP I'm not sick? I *am* sick, when I applied to university epilepsy constituted "A disability you cannot see" so what gives him the right make me feel like shit by denying what's wrong with me?

Wanker.

Other than that not much has happened. Went back to work today, continued doing research because we *still* have fuck all to do.

*sigh*

15 sleeps till Christmas!!