Failure

Unfortunately but somewhat unsurprisingly I have done no writing. It's not going very well really, everytime I tried to think about what to write next I started thinking about other books - not good. I think I'm going to have to be strict with myself. Set aside a slot of time everyday in which I have to do some writing and have a goal X number of words in said time slot. It's the only way. Well, probably not the only way, but the most efficient way that I can see.

I started making my brother's stocking today so it's ready to be lined too. I was thinking about giving it a little turnover at the top but I have to make sure that the lining doesn't clash too much with the gold on the fabric. Also I need to learn how to read patterns better. I just had to do a demonstration to myself so I could understand the instructions perfectly, I couldn't understand why I needed a slipstich opening for the lining. But now I do, although I don't need it 'cos the lining is the same on both sides so I needn't bother with all that complicated stuff - yay!

I finished my book this morning so yet again I'm down to having nothing to read, *dies* Oooh but I've just found out that the good bookstore in Rotterdam is open till nine from Wednesday - yippee! I can buy that PHP book and some interesting fiction ones too with any luck. I was considering leaving work early but now I can just go straight after huzzah.

I love book shops. I could spend ages in them, I have in fact, and not just in the Starbucks. That's why I like the Borders in Cambridge: it has a starbucks *and* they obviously don't pay their staff enough so they don't come round and bother you 'cos they just don't care. Or maybe Borders knows that people don't like to be bothered in bookshops. This might hold true for other shops but I don't generally go in to other shops. I actually don't... how worrying is that? But then, I don't really buy anything except books. Though I do hate it when, on the few times I go into clothes stores, the staff are always so pushy, if you've been there longer than five minutes they come and ask if they can help. It's like No if I needed help I would a) look lost/confused and/or b) have come looking for you. Since I am still in the trouser section, you have twenty racks of trousers and I'm not looking lost it's probably a safe bet that I do *not* need help.

But maybe that's just me.

I probably have more to say but I can't think what it is except: we had snow today! And: 25 days till Christmas! And: good night.

The Covenant or Why I'm annoyed at Blogger

I wrote a nice long post yesterday and I'm so sure it was posted - apparently not. I'm more than a little miffed, if only because now I have a black mark on my record for posting everyday - at least the other times: no internet, were valid reasons and now! *sigh*

So I did just watch the Covenant, it wasn't at all scary but it wasn't supposed to be. It was an interesting story but not as well explained as it could have been. They mentioned 'Darklings' a couple of times but there's no real explanation of what one is except that people who use magic can make them out of dead people. And that's all deduced. They seemed like a really cool idea for giving the good guys the idea that something odd was going on but there wasn't enough depth which kinda wasted it. There's some internal battles between the four members of the good gang, just your average jealous/over emotional/sparring type stuff but again it could have been explained better or just not been there. On the whole though it was interesting. Although I'm biased, any movie about paganism that isn't slanderous or crap I'm sure to like. And not only was it about paganism, it was also about Salem paganism. I love Salem, the witchcraft stuff always intrigued me, even before I became a pagan and it was there that I bought the book that put me on this path. I have a soft spot for Salem. So yeah, Salem and Massachusetts witchcraft is right up my street, as it were.

I want to go back there, I haven't been for, oh, only four years which given that I live in England isn't really that long a time. But I want to go back with money and possibly by myself or rather not with my mum's friend and her kids, lovely as they are. But then if I go with money I'd be tempted to buy far too many things! Bumper stickers for my non-existent car, cool throws for my non-existent sofa etc. etc. Money slips through my fingers like you wouldn't believe.

Speaking of money and ways to get it... I emailed one of my lecturers at uni a month or so ago, maybe longer, to ask if they had any jobs going - for my internship. They said no at the time but apparently he mentioned it to a company manager who was at their annual 'let's give the kids proper interview practice' outward bound weekend. The guy got back to them wanting to know if I still wanted a job so my supervisor called me up at work yesterday to see how I was doing. It sounds great but at first I wasn't sure, no reason why I wasn't sure but anyway. Now the more I think about it the more I want to go, I realised the only thing that I really care about in this country is my project and now that I've got it to a finish as it were - there's expansion and improvements that can happen but it's reached its first goal - I don't mind leaving it behind. We've got the lovely new intern who could theoretically pick up the ropes. I just feel bad 'cos Peter (my job supervisor) is my dad's friend and that by leaving I'll be failing him, and my dad to a certain extent. The other thing is that I'm not as unhappy as I was then, I've, I dunno, become used to the situation. I still don't much like it here and when you realise that aside from your project the things you're going to miss are the stationery shop, the fabric shop and the movie store perhaps you should start worrying. But does being able to tolerate the hole in which you live enough justification not to leave? I don't think so, and even if my flat is worse, even if my job is worse I'll still be closer to home, closer to my friends and closer to my boyfriend. I doubt the place I'd live would be worse - this place is a hole. And it's not so much my job that I hate, it's some of the people, so I guess the people could be as bad/worse but I have to believe they won't be. I used to be in two minds about leaving; I knew I couldn't leave to go back to uni, that'd be quitting but I wasn't sure what moving to another job might mean, on that side of things. I think I've said this before but I'm a quitter by nature and so I wanted to stick this out to prove to myself that I could. That's one of the reasons I didn't want to go back to uni - that and I had *no* idea what to do for my dissertation (I definitely need another eight months to figure that out) but moving on to another job? Is that quitting? I'm not sure. I'm sticking out the industrial year but I haven't put up with the job. But then when the job starts to make you feel like shit, is it worth sticking to? are you still a coward and a wimp if you run away? Tough questions.

Well in the light of those decisions plus the fact that I spent two hours distracting my brother trying to persuade him not to leave home on of which I also spent on the phone to my mother talking to her about my brother's issues. I didn't tell all of them, I'm not a taddle-tale, but when it comes to desperate situations I told them enough of what he was feeling. To be honest he's brought most of this upon himself and my parents couldn't *be* more supportive. More than that he knows he's brought it on himself. Which is why he wants to leave of course: it's not getting better and he's only hurting them by staying. It's only a couple of steps away from "maybe if I left completely, forever, they'd be happier" and other morbid thoughts, but luckily he's too lazy to jump off a bridge and I don't think he's nearly that depressed so we should be good. But I'm a fairly empathetic person I like to think, and I've been told, and Josh and I get on well, he always listens to me. Most of what I say goes in one ear and out the other, but he does listen. And I can get away with saying things simply because I'm not a parent - some things are just harder to take from parents, including piano lessons. But because I'm on the same level as him, family tree wise, we've a different bond and I get frustrated in a different way which means I can have some distance from the situation which improves perspective. So I can talk to my mum and be completely sympathetic all the while gaining clues as to what to tell my brother how he can improve the situation. He's completely unmotivated - about everything. And I think that's what's currently getting to my parents most. He's not working hard enough at school which is always irritating but he can't get off his arse to look for a saturday job either, it's almost like he's zombified from what I can tell. It's gotten to the point that if he even offered to do the washing up or feed the cats my mum would be overjoyed. I only learnt this last night and duly passed on the message in such a way that he wouldn't know I'd talked to her about him! I then talked to my dad on skype today, about unimportant things mostly and then I said I had to go and he said OK and then said "I'm sorry about the stress from Josh last night" and I said it was OK, he's my brother bla bla bla. But then he has a despairing moment, they're really at a loss with him. And I don't mind in the slightest, anything I can say or do to help, I will, but it just seemed amusing that this despair and need to talk about it came straight after he apologised about the stress I just endured from Josh! Parents eh? Who'd have 'em? I can't wait till I'm back for Christmas, I'm going to drag Josh round town and get him to apply to some jobs (I'll feed him Starbucks hot chocolate to make up for the dragging) and I'll talk to him and hope that some of it stays in his brain! And maybe things will get a tiny bit better.

I just realised I meant to start that paragraph with "In the light of those decisions and all the family stress, I gave up my chocolate veto and had ice cream at dinner" but instead I did my rambling thing. So yes, ice cream for tea, that doesn't mean the chocolate veto is off, oh no, back on again from, well, now. But as long as lapses are lapses and don't become the norm, then you know you're in control.

I got a card from my grandma today, she said she'd love to have a stocking, that it'd be good fun. Which is great only now I've realised that the colours of my current stocking are perfect for her but the pattern on the material for Josh's is also perfect for her. So I'm thinking that I will go to the fabric shop, buy that combined colour/pattern fabric (which they had when I was there) and probably buy myself so different fabric - 'cos I can't possibly have the same colour as my grandma. Josh and she will have different style stockings so it doesn't matter that the pattern is the same (hopefully).

So I'm going to make up Josh's stocking tomorrow and DO SOME WRITING! Oh and buy a book on PHP so that I'm vaguely knowledge 'ere I have an interview with that guy from the company.

Good night.

Noooooooooooo

It didn't publish my post - I thought it did, it said it had, I'm sure it said it had *cries* I'll just have to make up a longer one tonight. I'm so annoyed.

My Sassy Girl

So it would appear that all I'm really doing these days is watching movies and reviewing them - which is cool. I do need to get writing again though, I'm kind of in a rut. There's not a day goes by really that I don't think about my story but plenty of days go by without me writing it - which is not cool. I shall endeavour to write some this weekend, be it scenelets, storyboards, character padding-out or full blown chapters - this weekend I will write. And finish my brother's stocking ;)

Back to the movie then. 'My Sassy Girl' is a remake of a Japanese movie with probably the same name but in Japanese. I read a lot of reviews about it and most people bitched that it wasn't as good as the original and the Americans are always re-making stuff and doing it badly. Well whatever, I haven't seen the Japanese version and I probably won't. You know why? Because this movie was great. I loved it and I don't need to see a better version 'cos I'm quite happy with this one. It's about a boy who saves a girl from (possibly) getting killed on the subway - she was leaning over the railings - she turns out to be drunk and so he carries her and puts her on a bench. He decides he can't leave her there and carries her back to his place - still passed out. She turns out to be a drunken, semi-crazy, slightly violent, impulsive(in good & bad ways), demanding, funny, charming, laughing woman and he falls head over heels for her and in her own special way she shows us that she might feel the same about him, but we're not 100% sure. Difficulties ensue and are overcome. A very sweet funny movie but if you've seen the original don't tell me off for settling with the American remake - I don't care :P I thought it was excellent. Do rent it or buy, it's lovely.

I'm working up my courage to watch the Covenant, it sounds pretty awesome but then I properly looked at the back of the box and there's a scary-faced guy. I don't normally get scared by movies, it takes a lot to scare me. But I do get freaked out/grossed out and shocked quite easily. The scariest film I've ever seen was the Blair Witch Project. I hasten to add that I was 11 or so, it was freaky because you never knew what was happening and because it was so real, so 'potentially' real I guess you'd say. Saw I (that's as far as I got) horrified me but didn't scare me. I haven't seen the Scream movies. Oh! 13 Ghosts, that scared me a bit and Long Time Dead - but in a shivers up your spine kinda way and not much more. The Bone Collector - when I first watched that I did get scared actually, we were at a friend's house and we slept with skewers next to our sleeping bags. OK so that's the other movie that really got to me but I've seen it more recently and it's not as bad as I remembered. But this movie could scare me, or I'll just worry about it and be totally let down - that's a likely possibility too. Watch this space, I may watch it this weekend when I can stay up and have nightmares and not be late for work ;)

I did the testing of my program today - yay! There weren't any actual bugs which was nice. Stuff that needed to be changed, although only 'cos I'd forgotten to change the test lol. I also found a brand new status for UPS orders which had me stumped for a while before I realised I wasn't read the error output right lol! Fixed that. So yay - production tomorrow or next week perhaps. Fun fun fun.

It's cake day tomorrow and I have *no* idea what I'm going to make. I'm not sure if we're still on the break from chocolate or not so I'm not going to make a chocolate one just in case. Hopefully my student loan will come through soon and I can buy more recipe books :D There's a Classic 1000 Cakes and Bakes book (part of the series) which looks amazing and is first on my list.

*Sigh* I think my housemate has people round, there goes my early night.

Love, actually

It's such a good movie, I know it's kind of a Christmas movie but it's great! Less than a month till Christmas anyway :D I better start buying presents! And finish making those stockings hehehe. I think I will take some photos when I'm done and link to them on here, proof that I finished a project! A project that involved sewing no less.

Love Actually has a great soundtrack as well, I think. Great fun! Heh, my thinking's all disjointed today.

Work was not particularly interesting but I haven't anything else to talk about at the moment. We deployed my project, it was piss-easy. I thought it was going to be complex and special but no, just a command line version of "go". Major let-down there, let me tell you. Still, it's done and we can do testing on the morrow - hooray! Talked to Evout more, I remain firm in my thoughts that he's a sweetie. Matthias is starting to irritate me though but again it goes back to the standards thing in some ways. Some people work and teach differently. He seems to be very much a "I won't give you much of a hint, work it out" kind of person and I just can't learn like that. But then he'll do simple things like move one of my files around, not tell me he's done it then spout command line commands at me so that *I* have to update the ruddy thing then tells me he was suprised I didn't know the command he told me. I am a Windows person, always have been and probably always will be. I never used SVN till I freakin' got here, never deployed anything, never updated anything on the command line why the hell should I know the commands for doing things to svn on the command line!?

And that's just not how I'd teach someone. *Or* How I'd get them to update something. I'd tell them what I'd done, why I'd done it and tell them what they needed to do to make it work. Argh! He's so frustrating.

I won't have these problems when I set up my cafe hehehe. It started out as such a foolish idea, the "what I'd do if I won a million (or more) pounds" way to while away Databases lectures. It's going to be excellent. I'm going to make lots of cakes - making cakes at work is just practice ;) and do drinks like in Starbucks, all interesting kinds of tea and coffee. But also the regular stuff, I know a fair few people who've complained 'cos you can't get "tea" in Starbucks. I will fix that! Ooooh I don't think I mentioned last time the extension that this cafe might undergo. The ultimate plan, sort of, is to have a cafe which is attached to a jazz bar - ideally a subterranean jazz bar, 'cos it sounds cool. But yes, then I'd own the cafe and the jazz bar. I have a cousin who's a pianist and singer so I could probably rope her in a couple of times, a guy at uni is also a pianist and has almost exactly the same dream, he was talking about it over our end of year dinner and I told him it was exactly what I wanted to do too! Fun stuff. I have another cousin who loves the idea of having a cafe/restaurant but also wants to travel to actually find the people to buy food from or the people that the food comes from, he wants to do that and have a place to send stuff back to. So I selflessly suggested that I could run the cafe in his absence ;) I have *another* friend who's not sure anymore he's in the right business (a guy on my course) and is falling more and more in love with photography so maybe we'll send him off with my cousin and we can put their pictures up all over the cafe. I'd love to do it, I really would.

Oh! I had an idea earlier: IMDB should set up an IBDB - Internet Book DataBase. Unless there's one already? Maybe, I cba to check right now. But it'd be a great idea. It could work almost exactly the same as the IMDB but with authors and books etc. and then any books that were turned into movies they could link to the IMDB and vice versa. I think it's a great idea, but then people who have ideas often think that. Who knows? Maybe I'll email them... lol.

Back to book for in the Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn. Not the best it's true, there's a fanfic that had a much more interesting ending tbh. But it's her series she *has* to finish it the way that feels right to her. Nothing can or should change that. I do remember that someone got the book early and posted "spoilers" and we thought they were completely ridiculous, 'she'd never do that' we thought to ourselves. I was at work, reading the book online. I would normally object to doing this - reading a typed up version of the book, next to stealing - but my copy was paid for and in the post so it wasn't really like she lost out! And I swear I went into shock when I read the first bit of possible spoilers because that meant all the others were true too. It was an awful moment! But hey, the book's finished the way she felt it should be finished and that's all there is to it really.

Night.

Pirates and their standards

Ahhh and the marathon is over. Does it actually count as a marathon if it's done in three stages? Probably not but seeing as it's the best I can do on week days it'll have to do. I do so love Jack. And the bit with his father! Inspired.

It has come to my attention recently that people treat me differently than I would like to think I treat them (I noticed a while ago but more so recently) it's the little things... like the fact that I bought a frying pan 2 1/2 months ago and it was pilfered by the people in the other house (because they thought it belonged to the owner of these two houses) and there's a girl in this house who know the girl who "borrowed" it. And I've asked this girl a couple of times if she could get her friend to give it backk but they still haven't. So I'm despairing slightly, I don't like to ask again because she might feel I'm nagging and then I'd feel bad but it's been two months now and I'm fucking annoyed. And I just wouldn't do that, if it were my friend I'd nag them till they gave it back and if I had borrowed it, well I wouldn't have without asking first, but if I had and I then hadn't given it back immediately as soon as my friend asked me I'd like to think that I'd give it back. I'm an incredibly forgetful person but two months - when it's for someone else - is a very long time.

And it makes you wonder; is it fair to judge other people by our own standards? I mean, there aren't a set bunch of standards - apart from the ten commandments and variations thereof and of course laws. But the standards which you base all of your own actions on and which others base *their* actions on, they're very fluid so is it fair? But if you don't base them on any standards then anyone can get away with anything in theory. So what do you do? This wouldn't be a problem if you were a wanker and had low standards because anyone who did what you would do or better would be a "great" person but if, like me apparently, you had fairly high standards, how is it fair to judge someone? Should there be a cut off point? Take this frying pan thing - is 4 weeks long enough to give them the benefit of the doubt or should it be more? or less? To be honest I think that two months is probably long enough and seeing as I'm hoping to move out (though I haven't organised haggling with my colleague) I don't think I can feel too bad about having a minor go at my housemate to give me the bloody thing back, am I right? Give it back or give me the ten euros it cost, I don't bloody care. If I'd thought it was a lost hope I would have given up by now and bought a new one but because I have misplaced hope in people I really do think they'll give it back - so I haven't gotten round to it *sigh*

Maybe I'm more tolerant of things than I should be so people just take advantage. Or maybe the girl who borrowed it is also forgetful. Or maybe she's selfish. Or maybe a combination of all three


I got some work done today - yippee! Though not as much as I'd hoped because disaster struck! Well not really. We have an internal online phone/address book type thing and it was my job when I started to make it better. And it was working on the database/server it was on but it seems that an unfinished (perhaps) version was deployed onto the main server and now it's all broken and stuff. Next to everything that I added in - functionality wise - doesn't work but all of the technical bits that ought to be used are still there. A 'tag' form for example. You're supposed to check a bunch of boxes for the people you want to tag and the boxes are there and the form is there but trying to use them doesn't work. It's very bizarre. And worse than that, I can't get at the relevant files for some unknown reason! Very frustrating. But I got to chat to my supervisor about various future-and-stuff things and also - though he might resent me for it - got Evout the intern some work to do. He's an intern like and probably older than me so I don't feel I can tell him what to do because we're equals but also I don't really know what I'm supposed to do and there's not much in that for him to share with me so I thought I'd tell our joint supervisor to help him out. I hope it worked and that he doesn't hate me, he seems to be doing OK. I like him, he seems like a sweetie :)

Oh! I don't think I mentioned this yesterday - I found out I have to do a voiceover for a screencast demo of some product functionality. I'm going to giggle so much, or put on an over dramatised voice, it's going to be silly. Oh dear.

With any luck this will actually post - it's telling me the autosave failed and there's an error so I'm going to copy this before I post and see what happens!

Whoops, forgot the title... oh well.

Today was the second installment of my Pirates marathon. You know how sometimes you feel in the mood to watch something but you can't put your finger on it but none of your other movies fit? I kinda had that, I love the Pirates movies, but I just wasn't in the right mood but then I watched them - and it's great :D I think this one was the silliest somehow, what with giant cages, rolling mill wheel fights, Norrington covered in mud, stupidly dramatic lines - "Sorry, Mr. Turner... but he's RIGHT! Arrrr!" (Again from Norrington). Yes, silliness abounds in this one but it's still pretty good, the movie can carry it but it's *soooooo* obvious that this is a two parter. And I mean that's OK but you know that all of the climaxes in this one are not equal to whatever the biggy is in the next one! But that's OK 'cos I get to watch it tomorrow - woop woop!

My flatmate is being wretched again. Apparently it's too noisy, I have turned down my music for him already but for whatever reason the movie/speaker sound doesn't sync up very well so I have to have it quite loud to hear most of the speaking and then fifteen minutes before the end he comes and tells me if I could turn it down (I didn't realise it was only fifteen minutes otherwise I would have told him to sod off) and he does it in this just urgh patient patronising way you know the "I'm sorry, I'm sorry to be asking this again" while in his heart he's going "But if you bloody kept it down I wouldn't have to ask you over and over again, I'm not sorry you wench" *sigh* There's a great episode in FRIENDS where Ross movies in with Joey and Chandler and he does a similar thing. I have all the discs but I'm not going to check and it's not on youtube either...

I was looking for the episode on surfthechannel when "Antivirus 2009" started trying to download itself! It minimised my browser and gave me a pop-up to which I said "cancel" then tried to go back to the right page and it did it again! So I closed the tab mwahahahaha. Um so yeah, can't find the episode there either - sorry! But that was odd.

Um um um, it's a monday and I posted yesterday so there's not much that happened today of interest. I managed to get bugger all done at work today (not entirely true) because some of the things that my supervisor told me to do I didn't know how to do and he managed to never respond when I asked him if I should do (relevant) things that I knew how to do. *sigh* plus the fact that I have a, no doubt bored and confused, intern that's supposed to be working with me and he's got fuck all to do either. Well he has school stuff he can do but project-wise? Nada. It's like I told him: slacking while you're supposed to be working is... not OK per se but y'know, slacking because actually you have nothing to do is surprisingly frustrating. I think I said that last week... wow, I don't think I've done any real work at *all* over the last couple of weeks... I hope they don't notice, I feel bad now. Meh, I'm sure I'll survive, I'm actually keen to be working right now, I love my project, I'm so proud of it - if it were anthropomorphised it'd be a well trained puppy - because I do often want to pat it on the head when it does things right. I know it's because I programmed them properly but still, well done program :)

Sleep time...

Pirates and Dragons and Vampires - oh my!

It *actually* snowed today, the whole afternoon - it was excellent! I love the snow, only now I'm pining for mountains and skis, not good when you're trapped in damp holland I can tell you. *sigh* I don't know when I'll next be able to go skiing to be honest and I miss it so. Not for a couple of years I don't doubt. Maybe I'll start saving now and then I'll have a big savings fund and I can go for a couple of weeks - that'd be lovely :D Sadly it's raining now which will take away all the snow. There go my hopes of it snowing so much that I won't be able to walk to work - not that that would ever happen! A girl can dream...

I started my Pirates marathon today. I'm not someone who can stay up late so due to lazing around most of the morning and early afternoon I only got around to watching one movie so I'll spread them out like I did with LotR - yippee! And Johnny Depp is just as luscious. I can't wait till I can afford a really big screen (I only have a laptop these days) and then I can watch it and see him better :D A lot of people didn't like the second one and certainly not the third. They didn't get the third one which confused me, I thought it was completely comprehensible. And the beginning! So dramatic. Loved it.

It turns out that the guy I had thought I was making dinner with only thought he was giving me cheese. Which is weird because the way he talked yesterday about "it could be a yes but it might turn to a no later" doesn't really sound like not being able to put cheese in someone's fridge. But whatever, strange boy. He did give me cheese and I did get to make cauliflower cheese. It's pretty good with Grana Padano, like it was with Parmigiano, but somehow it's just not perfect. I think it's the lack of Cheddar. I'm a bizarre cheddar fan, I don't like it in sandwiches unless I'm really in the mood for it - give me brie anyday - but I love it in things or on things. Mashed potato, lasagne, pasta, cauliflower cheese - wherever you can use cheese I'd use cheddar. It's the most delicious thing. There's an excellent brand called Colliers, a welsh cheddar, and it's fantastic. A proper gritty cheddar, the cheaper the cheddar the milder and the softer it gets till it's like Gouda (ugh) and if you go past that stage then it's practically blasphemy to cheddar *and* to cheese. I may have been a poor student but I never scrimped on cheddar :D I made mash yesterday (I may have said) and this time it was with Parmigiano but it's just not the same, of course it needed a little bit of mustard in it to make it perfect but it was as good as you can get here.

I talk about food too much methinks. Just think how bad it'll be when I'm back in civilised England with real supermarkets. I'm going to hug the first one I go to I swear. And possibly the first Starbucks though it's less easy to hug a Starbucks!

In my final year at uni I'm hoping to live with some good friends of mine and then hopefully I'll cook more - more and better food. It's so easy to not buy proper food when you only feed yourself. And by improper food I mean fresh pasta and pasta sauces, chicken nuggets only appear when I'm really down. I do eat too much garlic bread though, I'm going to try to cut down. I don't believe in diets, I think they're stupid but I feel a bit too chubby and so, because I eat more chocolate/ice cream/garlic bread than I should, I intend to reduce my intake thereof. I tried that in the second month I was here - the first month was appalling - but it didn't work out from halfway through the third month I think. I got down again and the chocolate and chicken nuggets started making appearances. But now I'm riding a high, well, a higher low and I'm going to seize the day. I have had my first chocolate free week since I got here, I'm very proud. And seeing as I'm banning myself from eating chocolate during the week there's little cause for transgression next week. Though I may have to make up for yesterday's low fat strawberry cheesecake fiasco!

I'm sitting here and the third book in the Twilight series is by my elbow, I'm so gutted I can't go see the movie - I promised my friend that I would wait to see it till I came back from Holland for Christmas only now I'm regretting it somewhat 'cos I am *desperate* to see it. But, I will keep my promise, of course if she gets dragged into seeing it I won't begrudge her even for a second and I will promptly catch the first showing I can and hunker down for two hours of bliss. I didn't think much of Rob Pattinson as Cedric Diggory, he wasn't particularly interesting, let alone particularly hot but he is (to quote a Rachel Giese article I found somewhere online) "scruffilicious" as Edward in Twilight. Of course being in love with the character he plays might have something to do with it... I definitely want to steal the cardboard cut outs from the movie theatre now!

A lot of people have bitched about the books, about the mediocrity of Meyer's writing and I must say it's not the best, it's definitely not up there with the classics but then, I've read Dracula and Frankenstein and they were dull! In fact I'm not sure I've gotten round to finishing Frankenstein... They're excellent stories but appalling books, it's no wonder they've been turned into movies again and again. But Meyer's books, thought not phenomenally written, are also excellent stories with the addition of being readable and re-readable. This is the fourth time I've read them since I bought the first one in June. And aside from one terrible sentence in the first book about tidepools: "The bouquets of brilliant anemones undulated ceaselessly in the invisible current" - those words blatantly came from the thesaurus function in Word. No self-respecting 17 year old would use those altogether in one sentence. But they're pretty evocative, they're descriptive enough to set the scene but you're able to add in your own flourishes. There are some occasions where, I can't remember exactly, certain things don't match up, job scheduling and time sounding like it's going fast but actually only a week's gone by, but they seem to be traps that most writers fall into.

J.K. Rowling I think was very good at that, it's almost as though she had a week by week planner just for each of her books, which wouldn't surprise me, she's a very efficient writer, she knows everything about her characters, and that's the way it should be. I spent *hours* reading up on mammals and reptiles and dinosaurs and breeding habits so that I could know exactly how my dragons function, there's not magic in my story's world so I needed to know those things. They're the things that won't turn up in the book, who needs to know them? But I will know them and that makes me happy. One day when I'm rich and famous and go to fantasy book conferences (which is never going to happen if I don't get my arse in gear) maybe some geeky kids will come up and ask "But how do your dragons stay in the air?" And I will be able to tell them, that's all I need. I live in fear of a Galaxy Quest situation (well not really as I don't have spaceships), but believing your story is just a story and only knowing that much detail doesn't mean someone else will treat it the same way. Take Stephenie Meyer for example, her biological explanations didn't quite add up and the thing is, if she'd either said nothing or researched it more there wouldn't be an issue, but because she said "Oh yeah, well it would work like this" she essentially contradicted herself and confused the rest of us - not good. And then I do think she said "It's just a story" and it's like yeah, sure it's just a story, but that doesn't give you the right to talk bollocks. That was one of the things that drove me to researching my dragons (though I would have done anyway probably) - because I needed to know and I needed it to be logical and semi-sane and above all, theoretically possible. But maybe that's just me. Seriously though, rent Galaxy Quest - excellent movie.

Night all.

Coyotes and snow

It snowed today! At least... I think it did. I was outside when it was hailing and I heard it rain but when I went out later there was snow on all the cars. But that could still be the leftover hail... Never mind - I love snow! Love love love. And we're due real snow tomorrow, yippee!

I went shopping today, I bought some fabric from the fabric shop and am now the proud owner (maker) of half a christmas stocking - woop! That is, it's a whole stocking but I have to line it yet so it's only half done. It's so pretty, hand stitched and everything, only took me four hours... When it's all done maybe I'll take a picture. I'm very proud of my sewing on this occasion because I don't sew much, at all, except for making a pair of wings once... It was for an art project - he's very handsome no? Well it's only a back, based on my handsome little brother. Whose photoshopped, tattoed, back is in the art section too.

I just watched Coyote Ugly today, I've seen it before a looooooooong time ago, which is probably why I don't remember the huge sex scene in the middle! What is with that!? Still, it was good fun as I remember :) It had lots of trailers - including Pirates of the Caribbean. I'm going to have a pirates marathon tomorrow methinks. How yummy is Johnny Depp? *melts* I remember when I went to see the first Pirates movie, at the cinema, I was fifteen and I was sitting there with my dad and my brother looking up at Johnny Depp thinking "This guy must be as old as my dad. Plus he's got dreadlocks and is dirty and stuff. Why do I think he'd goddamn gorgeous, this isn't right, it's too weird. But look how pretty..." Lol. He's five years younger than my dad so I guess that makes it OK right? I have lots and lots of DVDs a fair few of which have Johnny Depp in them. My DVD collection, when organised, is sorted by genre where each genre sort of flows into the next. There's a Johnny Depp section. Finding Neverland and Chocolat on one end, Pirates in the middle merging into Johnny Depp and Tim Burton, then just Tim Burton and out the other side into animation. But yes, an actual Johnny Depp section. I'm debating whether or not to get a calendar but I think that would be too weird. Give me faeries and kittens instead :D

I bought yet more movies today. I'm very very bad, I buy too many movies. The selection today just proves how odd my housemates last year thought I was. I had moved all my DVDs in and was going to get more stuff and they sneaked a look at my movies to guage what kind of person I was and they were thoroughly bewildered - I had chick flicks next to action movies (this was before they were sorted). They decided I was cool :D So today I bought Coyote Ugly, Love Actually and The Covenant. It looked interesting and by that I mean I looked at the picture and saw it was made by the people who made Underworld - my third and fourth favourite films. I would have read the back but it's all in Dutch but I looked it up on IMDB, sounds pretty fun :) So yes, a rom com, a fantasy scary dramatic type and Coyote Ugly which I can't really define!

Nothing much else interesting happened. I got stood up for a stay at home dinner making with my house mate. How sad can you get? I asked him this morning if he wanted to make cauliflower cheese with me later (he has the hugest block of Grana Padano to use up) and he said "maybe" that he'd like to say yes but it might change to a no. I thought, fair enough, he'll come tell me later. It's half past eight when I finally give up. *sigh* So I made up for it with B&J low-fat Strawberry Cheesecake 'cos I couldn't see their regular Peace of Cake one. It's nasty. Well, it's made with oatmeal cookies which aren't offensive in themselves it just means you have chewy flakey bits and it doesn't soften properly either. Not good. Which surprised me, I didn't think they could make bad ice cream, they have flavours I don't approve of but this was icky. Their low-fat chocolate fudge brownie on the other hand may actually be better than the regular version. I shall have a taste test and post the results ;)

That's all really, I have stocking lining and creation lined up for tomorrow as well as the Pirates marathon - woop! Hehehehe, I just decided to create a Johnny Depp label - for the hell of it.

Time flies...

It really does. I'm going through that weird situation where the hours seem endless and the days seem endless and everyday you think "is it Friday yet?" but then before you know it *is* Friday.

Unfortunately I was only given real work to do yesterday and today so I was having unproductive endless hours before then, oh well.

I got to work on one of the things I was assigned yesterday before realising I didn't know what I was supposed to do. I'd been told to do something and so I interpreted that vaguely and set to work but this morning I realised that my supervisor might have meant me to do A or B or both and he might not know that I could already do A so did he want me to do B now? Luckily my other supervisor came in about this time and I told him my issue and he said "never mind about that for now let's talk about other stuff" (sort of) so now my project is all better documented and it might be going into production! I'm so happy, it's been my baby for two months and now it's deemed ready for people to use - real actual live people rather than myself hitting the 'go' button every so often. He also (through some task-management software) made me the project leader of my project. OK so there's only me and the other new intern on the project and yes I still have two supervisors but I don't care - I'm a leader, I'm special! Lol. I'm also easily pleased...

I was right, the lemon cheesecake was divine. Having been treated to four and a half months of cake (one a week) my colleagues have become fairly discerning but they *loved* this one. One guy said he'd be quite happy if I made it every week for the next seven and a half months! It was so yummy. *finds recipe* Here we go: Master recipe for a rich and creamy cheesecake I did the lemon "twist" that's defined later on but added the juice of half a lemon because it didn't taste lemony enough to me :D Be sure to blend it in well though, no curdling if you please :)

So yes, I think I'm getting the knack of baked cheesecakes and the starbucks one is perhaps within my reach! And then when I win the lottery, pack all this office software job stuff in and set up my hip london cafe I can park it right next to a Starbucks and see what happens! Seeing as mine will be made by hand from scratch I think I'll win... But maybe I won't set up right next to the Starbucks, I may have won the lottery but I don't need an ego or budget hit that big from the word go.

We hung out at the office pretty late today, Peter (my supervisor) was giving a short presentation as a practice for one he's doing at... a software conference that I've forgotten the name of. Possibly DeVoxx but that might have been last month - whoops! But it was pretty cool, there was a random guy there who was a friend of Peter's friend and had 6000 points on Stack Overflow which was his only reason for visiting - Peter is an SO convert with a whopping 1800 points and wanted to talk to the best apparently. It's 99% software questions so if you don't know or don't care it's not for you, I have refused to go on it seeing as it has taken in more than half of our emloyees and it'd probably be one of those things you have to create an account for, forget the password to and never use again.

Evout (the new intern) was back in the office today and he seems like a complete sweetie. He complained about the weather which also makes him my personal hero - I've been banned from weather sites at work and so now I just (have to) refrain from almost all weather commentary! I think I'm going to like working with him though I pity him... We've decided to move the project into production that probably means less coding on the things that won't be used in the release but more fun deploying it (which I don't know how to do) and testing it (which is boring). I don't know what I'm going to do about testing. I have to write all these tests and sometimes you're supposed to write tests that makes sure your program fails but the benefit of writing a program all by yourself with next to no supervisor coming in (and then being told off for not going to them) is that you think about how to make sure it doesn't break and the only person who needs to know is you. So there's no communication problems and you can just add in all kinds of failure checks and then when they say "Well customers might forget to do X" you can get rid of your little checks and turn them into one (or two, or three) bigger ones. So I have no idea how to make this fail at all!

Time for bed methinks

Outer Space

So today I was reading paperback writer's latest post which was very very funny in itself and then I nosed through the comments and came across one about Galaxy Zoo 2. It's like a useful procrastination tool - why aren't you working? I'm helping scientists decide the shapes of galaxies. Oh... (Your conversation with your boss) It's great stuff! And the best thing is that they've got loads of people looking at the same pictures so you can just tell them what you think you see and then they make the comparisons - easy as pie! Mmmm pie.

I have to make a Boston Cream Pie soon I've decided. I used to live in Boston and it's definitely where I'd move to if I lived in America and Boston Cream Donuts are by far the best donuts ever. I dislike spelling it "donuts" but I feel that American doughnuts are, somehow, made differently and actually are a slightly different breed of pastry that the ones we have over here. But yes apart from sugar-glazed chocolate donuts, Boston Cream ones are the best *ever* and so I'd like to make a Boston Cream Pie one day. I'm not sure if that's before or after I try to recreate the Starbucks blueberry cheesecake. It's the yummiest! And seeing as how I've been without Starbucks cheesecake since August and generally without Starbucks since June (and, apart from brief trips to England, will still be without till next June) I think it's high time I start trying to make that cheesecake. I've been building up to it though. Before I got to Holland I made only one kind of cheesecake, an absolutely divine no-bake chocolate cheesecake. But since I've gotten here I have made three baked cheesecakes and I must be doing something right, I haven't had a single crack. The chocolate baileys one was also divine I must say. I'm going to have to print out all the good recipes and put them in a folder methinks. Today I made a lemon baked cheesecake that should be pretty darn good. So next step could be blueberry cheesecake with streusel topping - yippee! I'm not sure if I posted the link to the baileys cheesecake... It was so delicious!

So yes, at work I managed to not do work by making cake and then my supervisor told me he didn't have anymore test data for me at the moment, why don't I do these other things? And I almost jumped for joy - I never thought I'd be so happy to be given work lol. But I feel like I've been slacking and it's all the worse for being unintentional!

I founf out about another flat today, owned/leased by my friend which sounds luscious and possibly very expensive *sigh*

I wonder whether, after you've been blogging for a while, you start writing more interesting blogs, or more restrained ones. Take this blog for example. All I do is natter on about things that are interesting to me and things that are happening. So it's just my general musings - an online diary as it were. But then I have no readers so then I don't have to adhere to anyone's desires about what my blog should be about. I can just write up posts about nothing till I get bored of the sound of the keys clicking. But perhaps, when you get more readers or just when you've been doing this longer, the need for talking about your day drifts away. Or maybe that's why some people have two blogs, a diary type one and a more-focussed one. I already have two lol. But that was because I created a "work" one so I could put it on my LinkedIn profile which I was told I had to have. It's like a business facebook without the fun bits. Anyway so whatever work/computer related musings I have can go on there. The non-whiny bits anyway. I also wonder if every new blogger wonders this.

Ummm, the problem with posting this late (half ten) is that I've always forgotten by now the things that happened during the day that might be interesting! Although I do think today was a boring day generally speaking. This is a roundabout way of saying I've probably run out of things to say.

Pictures!

Whoa I just got worried because I knew I had posted yesterday but Blogger was telling me I last posted on the 18th and I'm looking at my computer clock and it's telling me it's the 20th... And then I realised it's past midnight - doh!

I finally did some work on my story - I've written a proper story board. Normally I start writing one and go too in depth into one section, but now I really have a proper outline (plus all those in depth bits) so that's good.

As to the title, my friend invited me to join this facebook group. I don't know if anyone reading this has facebook but hey if you do, join and upload your pictures from around the world. I think it's a really neat idea and I shall be spamming my friends into joining. Actually that's not true, I hate group invite spam, I specifically pick people who I think might actually respond! Or get a kick out of it or w/e. Anyway so I got to look at lots of old photos which is always great - I should take more! And I should also get them put on CD, I am retro and have a film camera which means if I want pictures on my laptop I have to pay much more *sigh* or buy tons of batteries for my digital camera which eats them.

In fact I'm even more retro, I still have and use a sony CD walkman INSTEAD of an MP3 player. Although it might be time to retire the walkman (I've had it ten or so years) because I like to listen to music on the way to and from work and the CD keeps skipping *sigh*

What else happened today? I'm still desperately trying to fill up my day while not knowing actually what the hell I'm supposed to be doing. Actually that's not true, I'm supposed to be working on expanding my project but I don't have any test data so I can't really do that, the intern I'm supposed to be grooming still has 'flu, but believes he'll be back tomorrow - which will fill up my day, explaining all my code etc. But thereafter I'm at a loss. I'm going to have to 'fess up soon I can tell.

Oh! I booked my journey home for Christmas - I'm going hoooome *does happy dance* and I'm going for two weeks which cuts the duration of my stay in Holland down from 7 1/2 months to just 7 - whoopdefrickindoo.

My dad does this Christmas newsletter thing every year and for the last couple of years - ever since he wrote in my section "Kate didn't do well in her exams but hopefully she'll still get into uni" (git) - I've been writing my own section and having to provide a photo which, seeing as I was at work, meant trawling through facebook photos... Never a good thing, facebook photos are ones that other people put up of you, when do they take them? on trips out. When you're at uni and you're going out where are you going? to the pub. So what are you like in these photos? drunk... Luckily I don't do many *embarassing* things when I'm drunk but it's just not the face you want to show dozens of foreign cousins if you know what I mean? But I did find a couple of very good ones (among a huge amount of average to bad ones) and now I get extra chocolate for having finished my section and providing a photo first - yippee! Anyway that was the second bit of photo stuff.

I love photography, I'm hopefully getting camera kit for Christmas - a flash gun and a lush camera bag. I'm so chuffed. And when I go back to Aber I can start up the black and white photography courses again - yay! It's not photography so much as developing films and photos - which is the best bit in some ways. Every time I develop a picture it makes me happy! Lol, so easily amused. Tell me about you favourite photo/photo taking experience/place to take photos of :) I'd love to know.

Night night.

Back to blog

Woop! I'm back. And my excuses are: on Sunday I managed to forget *shock* I was planning on going to bed and I thought "ah! Must blog" and then I picked up some stuff to put it away and turned off my computer and as it was shutting down realised I hadn't posted yet - my first real failure thus far. Yesterday the internet was down again.

Um what's happened? Sunday was not very interesting, I wanted to go to the fabric shop to get some fabric to make the stockings with but it wasn't open - 'cos it was sunday. *sigh* Yesterday we got the new intern, he seems quite nice, quiet and possibly more of a slacker than I was! He's on the phone fairly often, at least when I was slacking I tried to make it non-obvious what I was doing! He's going to be working with me on my project. I'm not sure how I feel about that. As I said he's nice and I'm sure it'll be good to finally have someone to work with but... it's my baby, I wrote it all by myself, mostly from scratch, I had some people who helped me but they only made it better, they didn't really write whole parts of it and now this guy's coming in and is going to write whole sections by himself. *sigh* But then I'm sure that's just me being selfish again.

Today was more of the same really, did some testing, put up with the traitor being back in the office. I hate the way he talks to me so familiarly, we did used to be good friends but it's like he just doesn't realise that he might have hurt me in the slightest, I've never met anyone like that before and I know I'm not supposed to hold grudges but I just want to make him see that I'm mad at him, I haven't had a real chance to vent yet, except here. But then maybe I'm malicious lol.

I have read Emma and finished Mansfield Park by Ms. Austen. I'm... still not sure how I feel about them, they're great stories, I think I'm in the wrong place for them, they were a bit slow though. I feel so sorry for Mr. Crawford in Mansfield Park in a way. Obviously he should never end up with Fanny but I did feel bad for how it all turned out for him. And Emma! Oh my goodness, Emma! What a wench she is in the beginning, of course she starts to repent and that's when she realises that she's in love with Mr. Knightley but still, making Harriet turn down Mr. Martin having never met him and asusming him to be a coarse peasant was just so - ugh! Which I'm sure is the point but still! I get far too involved sometimes methinks... Anyway, I've decided to let up on the Austen for now and instead I'm reading the Twilight Saga again. Oh dear, they're just so delicious to read, all that first romance stuff with Edward makes you feel like you're in your own first relationship the whole "is he looking, is he looking, don't stare oh my gosh I can't believe he's looking at me" nonsense is actually quite yummy and I can't help but be in love with Edward Cullen, it's just not possible! I'm missing my Tamora Pierce books though, fiercely. You can't get them anywhere cheaply - it's shocking! Even Amazon don't have that good a stock and I can't navigate round the Borders web site for the life of me.

Ah well. Soon be home time, I was looking up the ferries today - £73 it's going to cost me, for the *whole* journey (return) including a cabin for the night on the return and breakfast - isn't it amazing!? I was going to have to fork out nearly £200 to fly, if not more, I can't believe it! It's not great for short visits but for the two weeks it's perfect!

Also - www.xkcd.com = love. Read any of them, read all of them! Damn it took three goes to get this right, it kept adding extra linky bits in - weird.

Right it's gone eleven and I have some serious Edward time to... I mean sleeping, yes, sleeping that's what I'm going to do!

Moooooovies

So today was a fairly nice day, I managed to not get up till half twelve which is weird for me, no matter how tired I am I normally can't sleep past ten. Naturally I managed to still feel tired when I woke up - don't you hate that? So I didn't manage to do anything constructive till three when I went food shopping. Yay for me... Or something.

Than I came back and my boyfriend was online, yippee! So we talked lots and then I watched Ella Enchanted and ate ice cream. All in all, very good. I do love that movie, it's so wonderful and simple. I like the Princess Diaries movies too :) I haven't read the books though which are completely different I believe. Michael continues in the story rather than being forgotten like in the movies. But still, good, easy fun.

Amazon sent me an email today, they often do, but this one I paid attention to, ummm for no particular reason lol. It was just an advert one about Christmas ideas for movies or something, it seemed worth looking at even if only briefly. There were some good movies on there, lots of rom-coms. I feel the need to stock up on those. I think one of the problems with people my age is that we hear about all of the real classics: Pretty Woman, When Harry met Sally, While You were Sleeping etc. but I don't really know anyone who's watched them, anyone my age anyways. So I think I shall ask for lots of them for christmas i.e. put them onmy amazon wishlist. Because quite frankly, you can never have too many chick flicks. Even if they are simple and trashy, doesn't matter!

But I was shocked, for all their three or four pages of Christmas kids movies they didn't have "Santa Clause: the movie" which is not one of those crappy ones with Tim Allen in. No, the best Santa movie of all time, the one with Dudley Moore from 1985. It's the best one and next to nobody has seen it. And the santa is a proper santa. My favourite Christmas movie ever, better even than the Muppet's Christmas Carol but it's a close run thing ;) My kids will be watching that movie every Christmas, for as long as they're in my house! Once they exist of course. And then, when they leave but come back for Christmas they will still have to watch it! I say "have to" I will probably be watching it so if they're in the house no doubt they will watch it. I won't force them of course. But yes it's the best and I really don't know anyone who's seen it. It has Dudley Moore as an elf and John Lithgow as a heartless, money-loving, toy making crazy man. What more could you want? There's also flying reindeer, spoilt children making friends with poor children, lack of belief and a bemused Santa. If that doesn't make it a fab Christmas movie I don't know what will!

Night all.

Nerves...

So today I had to do a presentation about my project at work. It was terrifying. It wasn't helped by the fact that though I had prepared slides I'd tried to write myself notes and hadn't had any time to practice them :S Then my supervisor was being kind of a wanker and didn't show me how to set up anything - I'd never done it before. And OK so technically that wasn't wankerish it was just the way he was doing it. I got it mostly set up but it was weirdly zoomed in so when he came down he told everyone that they were an hour early (it was supposed to be at 5 not 4) and that I need to do something to the secondary display (wtf!?) and then he left again! And the thing is I had sent round an email on, oh, Tuesday maybe saying that it was at four because although one person had told me I should do it at five, like other presentations, all the ones I'd been to had been at four. And it's like - you could have told me then that I was wrong! Humph. So he's not off the hook about that but I did find out that he'd had a "difference of opinion" with one of our colleagues and I think he had been upset all day. Unfortunately this guy lives outside Nice so it's one of those situations where even if you wouldn't shout at each other you still can't vent your anger as much as if they were there. So he was more than a little stressed. And once the presentation started he was smiling and happy so it's all good really. It went well, so I'm told, I thought I spoke too fast and it was over quicker even than I had imagined. But there were good questions at the end, some leading to thoughts on the software product as a whole and not just my little bit so that was cool.

I made the chocolate meringue cake again 'cos it is *divine* and I might be making flapjacks soon, next week possibly. Though the idea makes me nervous, they can go wrong so easily I guess. My mum always made sticky yet really crunchy ones and the first one was yummy and after that it was a bit like hard work. She's stopped baking at all really now, it's so sad. My parents may be divorced but my dad still maintains she makes the best cherry cake :D Well, made, I guess that would have to be! Maybe if we have a christmas party I'll ask her to bake something, maybe I'll bake something too! Yay for cakes :D

Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm not much else to say, I just watched Dirty Dancing 2: Havana Nights. I love that movie, I love the cuban/latin music. And Diego Luna?? Yum! If you watch it for the first time, or after a while, the first time you see him it's like "So? He's not that special" and then, for me at least, I think the first time you seem him dancing, or maybe later, it's just a droolfest. I wish I could dance like that, and with him. Though I'd settle for my boyfriend of course ;)

I just remembered, I sent an email round work this week asking for some days off over christmas and no-one's said "No! You must say here!" so hopefully I'll get two weeks off. I can't wait to go home! I love Christmas so much lol. And, if I get my act together, I'll have made new stockings for me and my brother, woop woop. I shall go buy some fabric tomorrow! Yippee! Hehehe.

Guilt

I'll give you a brief outline of my current situation: I am an intern in Holland, my boyfriend has just graduated and lives just outside London. So, to the crux of the matter. I'm not quite jealous or resentful or anything but... he just has so many friends and always doing stuff on the weekends, I just kinda wish that he couldn't function quite so well without me. Which is totally selfish I know. But, but, ahhh I have no redemption. It's only made worse by the fact that I'm so down here - because I don't have him or my family, let alone any friends. So I think that probably makes it worse. Not only is he coping so fantastically but I'm barely coping at all *sigh* What's a girl to do?

Nothing no doubt, just like I have nothing of note to say today. I meant to sit down and write but I was feeling selfish and unhappy and really sleepy. So I had a nap instead.

Oh! One thing happened today. Due to a variety of reasons I managed to be the first one at the office and so when I unlocked the door the little alarm box made a peeping sound because I had to enter an alarm code - only I didn't know mine. I tried to remember the emergency one I had been told to no avail so the most awful noise started. I tried to phone my supervisor but he didn't pick up, another guy but only got his voicemail and yet another guy before gritting my teeth and calling the boss! Only he didn't give me a code in the end anyway. So the other intern rings the bell - he doesn't have a key *or* alarm code. And he comes in, on the phone to my supervisor! Who tells us the proper code and saves the day! Still - a very nerve-wracking 25 minutes! I thought the alarm people were going to turn up and ask me questions that I couldn't answer and arrest me or something. Well not really but I did panic, I'd been living in vague fear of that day ever since I got my alarm code - and promptly forgot it. And it was exactly as scary as I suspected it would be.

Reviews...

I just read a good post about how everyone's a critic and it's a well articulated, well put together article about what any decent reader/writer/movie watcher/director/critic knows. And one thing really resonated with me. He talks about how blogs are taking over the universe... well they're a big sphere of influence these days and one of the reasons it "Because the Internet doesn't require accountability, they write things they'd never say face-to-face, which makes them cowards as well." And I think that's so true. And I certainly try, generally, to not trash anything I don't like. I can't help but trash A Clockwork Orange for example but that's because all its depth and meaning were lost on me due to two consecutive monday 10 o'clock lectures enforced watching of it. I'm sure if you watched it at your own leisure it'd be a great, moving, thoughtful, philosophical movie. But personally? I'm mentally scarred and it almost ruined "Singing in the rain" for me! But even there when I talk about it to other people I state the situations in which I watched it and most people agree that it might not be conducive to understanding! I asked my not-quite-step dad the other day what he thought of The Shining (which I also watched on a Monday at 10) and he said he didn't think he'd ever finished it. And to me it just wasn't scary, I didn't get it. Maybe that's why we were shown movies at that time, to try and strip away all emotions that might normally be associated with them - no fear etc. Who knows? So anyways in any review I give here in future, not that I'm going to be influencing the wide world, but as good practice, I will attempt to never trash a movie or book and if it really is a one-star situation, all opinions are relative so I will attempt to explain mine.

Now with that good plan out of the way what other news? Well I still failing in the getting down of story on paper but I'm resolving issues in my head, getting to know my characters better etc. I meant to force myself to write all evening but I just bought the complete works of Jane Austen and I'm tearing through Mansfield Park - don't you just loathe Mrs. Norris? Ms. Austen was excellent at writing thoroughly despiseable characters! Or maybe I just get too into it, I'm very right and wrong when it comes to books and movies - the baddies are bad and the goodies are good. I only half forgave Snape at the end of the Deathly Hallows - OK so he loved Harry's mother etc. but he was still a wanker quite frankly! Or is that just me?

Speaking of reviews therefore, I also just finished reading The Magician by Michael Scott. It's the sequel to The Alchemyst which was released last year and they're great fun. They're YA books I guess or maybe younger, perhaps, whatever they're enjoyable. Not as in depth as the only other series of books that I know that mention Nicholas Flamel (Harry Potter) but very interesting and there's so much myth and legend come to life in them that I can't help but love them. They follow the journey of Sophie and Josh Newman, 15 yr old twins who are discovered to possibly be the twins of an ancient legend put down in the Book of Abraham the Mage. Flamel and his wife find these twins and believes that their powers must be Awakened in order to save the world etc. The only issue I have with the books is that I thought they were going to be a trilogy but they're a sextet with one book being released a year so I have to wait till 2012 till I know what happens. And OK so it was six years between when I first started reading Harry Potter and when it finished but, though great, these books aren't as in depth and lucious as the HP books and they don't have quite the same re-readability. I actually read the last book twice in the three days after it came out because we were staying with my uncle and I didn't have anything else to read! But yes, great fun.

Night night.

What?? No title?

Um, yes, no appropriate title because I appear to have gotten drunk on orange juice and I'm not sure how...

Anyways: news, I didn't update on saturday/sunday/monday because the internet was down. I still haven't done much writing so it's not like I had much to talk about. Now the internet is back but the gas stove appears to be not working - cake for dinner it is. That's right, there's still cake left from Friday, well no, I just ate the last piece but w/e.

Umm in other stuff I went to a fabric shop in Rotterdam on Saturday and have finally found heaven in brocade form. I used to work in the haberdashery section of a department store and before that in a costume shop that sold fabric so even the thought of a fabric shop tempted me. And this one was a beast! It was five times the size of those two combined and on three floors! *drools* It was so pretty. I got the pattern I wanted - I want to make Christmas stockings for my brother and I because we don't have proper ones at my dad's for various reasons. So if I get my act together and makes these we'll have amazing ones :D

I also went to see Quantum of Solace on Saturday. It may have knocked Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire off the top spot for records on opening day in the UK but I bet the kids didn't feel as disappointed as I did after. It didn't seem very coherent, rather like me in these blogs, there was no resolution of any of the storylines from the previous movie just the beginning of new ones. Because it seems that unlike the original series which were a collection of stories about a character these are a series that actually links together. So my advice, watch it sure, but rent it three days before the next one comes out. You should watch it for sure but don't pay money to go see it at the cinema unless it's just as cheap I guess. Overall, I'm sad :( But I finished watching LotR this Sunday which is always fun :) I'm glad I did, it always feels like it's going to be so hard to really watch them but then I'm always glad when I do, hurrah!

Nothing much has been happening at work, I've been doing testing, drawing diagrams, re-writing my article and rejoicing in the fact that the callous traitorous git that works in my office a) isn't here this week and b) got told off last week for being too harsh in general and especially to me. Apparently he and my other supervisor gave *very* different accounts of what passed on Thursday - hmmmm.

Uhhhh I think that's all my news, no real story update *sigh* I need to be kicked in the bum about this! Night...

Cakes, cakes, cakes... and Lord of the Rings!

That's right. Today I made a chocolate butter cake and though it was very nice it was very heavy. I won't serve it again for a party of less than sixteen people! If you do have a party for sixteen or more people however and you want to fill them up - this is the cake for you! A couple of comments though. Buy a bigger mixing bowl. No, really, buy one. Especially if you're mixing by hand, in which case ensure you have industrial electric hand mixers. The amount of batter is extreme, I had a fairly good sized bowl (I thought) and when I was done doing all the additions it was barely a centimetre from the top. So unless you have one of those ubiquitous ceramic mixing bowls, buy a bigger one. I don't even know if it'd fit in one of those nice Kenwood mixers! But it *is* very tasty. At one point, I think when you've added the milk it gets a weird texture, like you get the first time you try to make icing and it all separates out? But then you add more flour and it's fine and dandy. Tasting the mixture just before it went in the oven it did taste a bit floury but it turned out OK :) Ummmm, really wait till the cake is completely cold to put the icing on, I was too hasty and bits of cake and icing were going everywhere! Not the prettiest cake I've ever made I can tell you. Which reminds me of my promise: to actually put links to the cakes I've made so far. So here they are

• Delia's Lemon Meringue Pie
• Carrot Cake
• Irish Cream Chocolate Cheesecake
• Chocolate Meringue Cake
• Chocolate Brownie Cake

Comments then. Delia's Lemon Meringue Pie was tasty but she said you could eat it warm and I found it was far too soupy so I'd definitely let it set next time. The carrot cake, for me, wasn't quite interesting and flavoursome enough but everyone else loved it so who am I to complain? The Irish Cream Chocolate Cheesecake was, um, divine. It was so delicious. I did up the amount of alcohol which meant that you could taste it (rather than it being a hint) but it still managed to be slightly subtle and a balancing not dominating flavour. The meringue cake was excellent, I've made Nigella's lemon version which was yummy so I wasn't surprised when this turned out great, voted best so far I think. The brownie cake was very tasty too though I might double the amount so that people can have taller but slimmer pieces - it was essentially a round brownie, which is no bad thing but I think it would be better that way. There was also a Kahlua and Oreo Cheesecake which was also delicious but they've taken it off the website, I think I have the printout somewhere so if I find it I will definitely be writing that one up!

On a non-food subject. I'm watching Lord of the Rings again. I love these movies but I only have the extended editions so I don't watch them very often, you have to be in the right mood I think, be able to put up with Frodo's wimpiness. I'm still in love with Legolas even though he's poncy - I don't care! But it seemed to me while watching them that, as I mentioned yesterday about real-life in stories, some of the things that happen just *wouldn't* happen, even in a fairy tale dwarf mine. There wouldn't be a three foot wide bridge crossing a huge chasm with no railings - dwarves aren't that surefooted. The cave troll will not automatically be able to single out the most important member of a quest. It wouldn't happen. I think that's one of the reasons I like the Tamora Pierce books. Yes the heroines often end up being the ones fighting the danger but that's because they're the only ones there, only ones good enough or the only ones stupid enough to face it head on! And there sure aren't any stupidly narrow bridges and the only time one of them got singled out was when the beast was magicked to do so. That's my two cents anyway and if I *ever* get farther on my book any quests that occur will not involve such foolish things! On the upside I did mostly finish writing the heroine's last first kiss. It has rain and romance and humour - what more could you want? It is going to be marginally cliché but I had a hugely romantic first first kiss so why shouldn't she? Well it was a romantic situation anyway, we were both 13 and so he had a wet hoover thang going on. But apart from that...

Night night.

Eleventh Day Blues

Not a great day today. I'd been feeling a bit rough most of the day and then I go for a code review (of my project code) and I feel worse and worse and I tell them I feel a bit iffy but I think it will go away so I don't ask to stop, but it gets worse and then one of the guys reviewing gets all sarcastic at me. And so then I'm sitting on the floor feeling like I'm going to have a fit (I'm epileptic) and also panicking because I think I'm going to have a fit and he has the audacity to still be a wanker even after I've told him I feel like I'm going to have a fit *and* I'm having a panic attack. Then he storms out! And tells my co-worker something along the lines of "Kate didn't look very happy" and didn't even ask me how I was when I made it back to the office. Now, though I *am* a needy person, I don't think it's unfair of me to expect someone to say "Are you ok?" when he's seen me in that state? Maybe I'm too quick to judge, just because I'm not a heartless git doesn't mean everyone else isn't, right? And to think yesterday I was planning on retracting any rude statements I'd made because I do dislike putting bad vibes out into the world, karma and all that jazz. But I'm sorry it just bugs me and seeing as I only write in my diary once a year or so, you guys are going to have to put up with the rants! I just don't understand how someone can be so completely fucking unfeeling. Whatever. Rant partially over.

Apart from that not much else happened today. I continued planning the heroine's first kiss with her hero (not one *the* heroes) which is fun 'cos you get to plan all romantic type stuff :D I decided against it being her first and only love, life doesn't happen like that, I mean life doesn't much happen like it does in the book, mythical creatures and stuff, but some things ought to correspond to "real life" having said that - she's still going to get a whopper of a romantic kiss 'cos hey, it's a story and I can do what I like :P Funfunfun.

Elections and Bonfires and Bond

So woop woop for Barack Obama! I lied in my blog, accidentally, I stayed up - till three in the morning, ugh, boy was I ruing it today! But it was good fun, watching all the online stuff, watching the count go up - I can't believe Missouri (?) and N.C. still haven't called, it must be real close, or they're all so tired and they know the race is won so they're catnapping, I wouldn't blame them! As I said I'm tired and that's just from watching, it must have been a long day for everyone - kudos for surviving!

So. Bonfires. I just read this article by the bbc which was interesting in a vague sort of way. I'm sorry to be harsh but he's been judged and nothing anyone says is going to change that. I can understand changing the verdict for a man who was wrongly executed these days. The family will need some kind of peace and rest, having fought for that person, striving to prove their innocence. But it seems to me it's too late for Mr. Garnet. And at the end of the day, whether he was executed or released he would have gone to the pearly gates and been judged there anyways. That most certainly doesn't mean I condone bad behaviour on any level, I just mean that he's already gone through them or not, let him be, it doesn't make a difference any more. There's no real impact. Now if someone told us, and could prove, that Jesus or Buddha was involved THEN that might be worth listening to... Know what I'm saying?

But anyways, some of the comments bothered me, about how it was a barbarous tradition and we should be celebrating the Celtic New Year now that we're all tolerant and stuff. And the thing is, we may be tolerant and stuff but that doesn't mean we're going to start celebrating other people's festivals. The people that call Hallowe'en the Celtic New Year are the people who only have their facts half right. Those couple of days are celebrated the world over as a festival to celebrate those who have passed on, it has long been recognised as a time when "the veil between the worlds is thin" it really is a day of ghoulies and ghosties *and* it's New Year, but a Pagan one not necessarily a Celtic one. And we'll certainly never have people celebrating pagan festivals (knowingly anyway) if they don't accept where they (the celebrants) come from. It's a pet peeve of mine. I don't mind Christianity per se, I think it's made the world what it is today, which is not a wholly bad one to be honest. OK, ok, there was a lot of killing and shit like that but hell every religion does that, it's not really personal. And I don't even mind (anymore) that they stole other people's religious festivals and made them their own, again the Romans did that, it's a cunning tactic. No, what bothers me is that they don't believe it, they don't even know and they certainly don't accept that that's what happened. They (mostly) really truly believe that Jesus died on Easter Friday and was born 25th December. And it's just not true, we don't really know when he was born but it's a nice coincidence that lots of Sun Gods were born around then. And if he died on Easter Friday then why does it move every year? I told my step-mother this, last year I think, that Easter is celebrated on the first sunday after the first full moon after the equinox and she actually said: "but that's so pagan" And it's like "uhhhh yeah" Easter is a Pagan fertility festival dedicated to, celtic-wise, Eostre (or some variation) that's where the name comes from, that's where the womanly hormone oestrogen comes from, deal with it. And I think if we're going to live in a truly tolerant world people should be able to tolerate the history of their own religions because that might just make them more accepting of others. There are lots of pagan evangelicals out there who'd like to blame all Christians, or Catholics mostly, for the inquisition or the witch hunts and it's just not fair, the people these days didn't do it and there's only a select few who want to burn and torture people but mostly they're good, honest people, striving to look after themselves and each other and I sure ain't going to argue with that.

Back to Bonfire Night, Bonfire Night is a celebration, a celebration of triumph over "terrorism" which is a somewhat overused phrase these days but what the heck. Now it's a symbolic effigy, a symbol of that triumph, which is no bad thing. Now we have a truly english festival (pagan and celtic ones aside) that everyone in the country *does* celebrate, even if it's unknowingly ironically, it's a chance to get together and it's not way overcommericalised so it's nice - pretty lights, big fire - it's all good.

But hey, tell me what you think.

On a much lighter note, I'm going to see the new Bond movie this Saturday - woop woop! It's supposed to be good but not as good as the first Daniel Craig one so it's a must-see but not a must-see-again-in-less-than-3-weeks, or so my boyfriend tells me. So I did just have a date with Daniel Craig as Bond the first time round, to remember it and all that jazz and the Bond movies really are good. Pierce Brosnan I always thought would be "my Bond" you know, the one you always think of, partly 'cos he was the only Bond there was when I was growing up but now I've seen them all and it can't be denied that Sean Connery is legendary! But Daniel Craig is none too shabby and I'm glad that they're not going over old ground and just covering up what was there before: the SC years, the PB, the Timothy Dalton and Roger Moore etc. They may have been more frivolous but I'm glad they're not being swept under the rug. I tell you something else though, even though I'm not into the big built men like DC seems to be and he's only really handsome in the rugged way he's just so... phwoar! I think that's the only way to describe it. There are a lot of hot actors in the world today and a lot of them are irrepressibly sexy and they just make you swoon or give you a bad case of the "yummy yummy give me NOW"s but there were a couple of scenes where it was just like, I dunno, *drool* or something lol. And speaking as a pretty boy lover, that's saying something! Is that just me?

Anyway long, long, loooooooooong post. Night night

Cloud nine?

I'm getting better at this title malarkey...

Ummm, so what happened today? Nothing much really, did a lot of studying of Wikipedia pages, I think I've done most of the reforms on my project but I just wasn't feeling alive enough to call for a review so I read Wikipedia almost all day - on the important stuff of course, not just trawling through it for amusing reads ;) I've also spent most of the afternoon and evening periodically checking the BBC live updater thing that updates every few minutes or so with a new comment or tweet or email or blog post from randomers or actual bits of news from correspondants. Apparently we're looking at a 2am (GMT) wind down which is three o'clock for me which I just can't face unfortunately, I'd love to stay up and pay attention but I'm too old now lol! OK so not old but you don't need to know my issues to know that I can't stay up till 3 on a work morning! Anyway so tomorrow we'll wake up... actually around afternoon teatime most of the votes will be counted and stuff and we'll know who's probably president. And the face of America will change and the world will change.

It has to be said that, though GWB was a pillock and did some terrible terrible things while in office, he sure made America even more important, though that might also be because I was twelve when he was first elected and didn't really get politics! But still I mean, the changing of hands of the british government didn't make nearly as many ripples even in our country let alone the world and we're still one of the big guys right? I guess that's 'cos we all knew Brown was going to take over for like a year in advance so when it actually happened no-one really noticed.

The other thing is that Americans are so patriotic - it's amazing. The way things are run is somewhat simpler: do you want this man as president? yes/no How about this other man yes/no? Etc. whereas in England you vote for your local candidate and based on how many of each party get in the leader of that party is the new prime minister, or some such. Whereas you know exactly who you're voting for and the candidates really come round, they interact with everyone and you get to take a nice long look at them and their position and decide. But people in Britain are much more lazy I guess and we just don't care really. And I've certainly never seen much hype about it, you get flyers and that's kind of it, but again that might be 'cos I've only been able to vote for two years and I've been in Wales most of the time so I didn't know what was going on either there *or* at home! But I'm real impressed by the Americans and at how they've turned out to show their support and I'm sure they know that they're not only changing America but they're changing the world. I just hope it goes the right way!

In other news... I watched Catch Me If You Can just now, good fun. Christopher Walken scares me though, I'm not sure why, he just does. Maybe because I've only mostly seen him in movies where he's the bad guy: Mike from Stepford Wives (robot), Headless Horseman in Sleepy Hollow and a bond villain. But he freaks me out! I've just noticed that they're thinking of making an Italian Job II this being the sequel to the 2003 one - L.A. Heist, not the '60s one. It's going to be called the Brazilian Job. Is it just me or is that an awful *awful* name. It sounds like the waxing job of essentially the same name. Now I'm sure it will be good fun, I thought the L.A. Heist was fun tbh and I'm glad it wasn't a remake of the original but Brazilian Job, really!? Terrible.

As usual I've managed to talk for ages about nothing. Still no book work though I did start dreaming about their first kiss, then it turned into a dream about mice in the office. And then the vermin guys came to work today - talk about prophetic!

Better than God?

Ok... not really 'cos he built a world in seven days but I'm just proud of myself for having remembered to do this everyday and now I'm on the eighth day - I really am *that* bad at sticking to things *sigh*

So I just watched Bride and Prejudice, what a silly movie that is. Good fun though, it reminds me I haven't read Jane Austen in a very long time, those are the books I can read over the next week hopefully. They're classics, they might even be on sale in the Netherlands, fingers crossed.

Work was... kinda hard today. There's a guy at work who I got on really well with when I started, he really helped me out. And he's mostly nice and helpful but it turns out he's been spying on me for my mentors (I know I mentioned this before) and it just gets to me that he can be so nice and friendly but be such an utter wanker. Maybe that's just guys though? Hehehe.

Still no work on the book :S I know I haven't a deadline but I feel lazy! I fell asleep before getting anywhere last night so it's an early night for tonight with some writing or plotting or SOMETHING before I go to bed! I did a survey on my favourite forum yesterday, asking people about their first kiss or best kiss perhaps. I had a really romantic one personally but I'm not sure how to write it in a book! Well, it's more about getting them *to* the situation where they might kiss that's the hard part. So if anyone would like to tell me their most romantic/best kiss I'd be more than grateful.

I think that's all for now, oh and happy voting tomorrow Americans!

Seventh Day Rant

So I'm reading Paperback Writer's blog (it's very good) and she's talking about first lines, which is helpful to say the least. And someone commented with a link to The Top 10 Most Outrageous First Lines and the quotes were good fun I thought. Lots of comments including lots about the 1984 first line: "It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen." And the first four comments about this line were fairly good, I felt, asking why it was outrageous as technically you could have 1300 hours and someone replied well yes but clocks don't "strike thirteen" etc. etc. But after that the people talking about the line got more and more rude, insulting and ignorant. It seems to me that if someone has either a) already resolved the issue or b) already laid into someone about it (I don't condone this) then there is absolutely no need to continue shouting at them. Another thing, I don't know about you guys but I always make sure I read other people's comments before adding my own, just in case I repeat something someone else has said. So the amount of people who commented with the opening line from "The Stranger" got to me because, you know, it's already been quoted and if it is absolutely your favourite line then say so rather than just repeat.

Still no writing has been done, I'm very glad now that I'm not doing NaNo, I'd already be trailing miserably behind! I think I may have a last minute cram before I go to bed. My mother came to visit and I had asked my stepmother to give her some of my books - I have about 12 with me, most of which I've read twice already *sigh* And OK my bookshelf is just shy of two metres wide and OK it's three books deep, but she's read the books so she knows what they look like and I told her exactly where they are. Oh well, now I'm *completely* out of books, trip to the bookstore methinks, so I should do some writing instead perhaps. That would be a good use of my time!

So it's the sixth day

I hope you all had very happy hallowe'ens! I've had a nice day today - hung out with my mum and her partner, went into the fabric shop that has always tempted me in town and rightly so. It was amazing! I didn't even get to explore like half of it - I'm going back next weekend no doubt about it. I also went to a department store (a nice one) and pondered the idea of satisfying my craving for cushions, I need some on my couch as it's not the most comfortable thing in the world and it would be nice to be more snuggly you know? But maybe I'll get some plain ones and make covers with fabric from the fabric shop who knows!? Fun fun fun.

Anyways, I just want to give a shout to all those doing the NaNoWriMo this month. It sounds like a fab idea, I'd really consider it but I'm a few thousand words into my first book *ever* so I wanted to see how I go with that rather than cheat or start another one *at the same time* Maybe next year, when I know how I write books and whether I would ever do it ever again. Oh, only I'll be writing a dissertation this time next year *doh* Isn't uni fun? :)

Um, um, um, not much else to say, some friends on a forum know that I'm writing a book so they keep asking questions and giving me outlandish things to put in it - ok so it's a fantasy adventure story but some things just aren't, you know, required. Anyways one person asked me if the dragons had enemies and I was like "No... but they did fight amongst themselves before" which I hadn't known before, it's nice when your story tells you things about itself. Makes life that little bit easier. Anyways, night night.

And on the fifth day

Ok ok so it's just gone midnight and it's technically the sixth day but I haven't been to sleep yet (except at work perhaps!) so it doesn't count ;) The reason this is so late is because I was posting on my respectable blog. I wrote an article on how baking is like programming then found an article about how magic (the wizarding kind not the pagan kind) is also like programming so I thought I'd extend my article to include comparisons between cookery and magic. Let me know what you think:

http://computersciencemusings.blogspot.com/

Anyway because I'm sleepy it took longer than expected and so I'm now technically on the sixth day but shwsh :P My mum and her partner came today and they're here till Sunday - yay! I miss my family so much. Though I'm only six hours away (only!) that's the same amount of time it takes to get from uni to home but the difference is that I have to plan in advance to go home from here, I can't just jump on a train partly 'cos they only accept credit cards on the trains - gits. So it feels even more isolated here than it did in Aber, plus the fact I had more friends there! Anyways no more whining.

Again no work has been done on the book but I've been working and then went straight to the hotel to meet my mum hopefully I will have done some more by the seventh day even though, were I God, I'd be a'resting up. Sadly that is not the case, if I can't think up some proper narrative I think I'm going to try out some world building type tutorials, I have countries and seas and planets and moons to name yet, and gods! Well gods first because I'm unimaginative and I'm going to name the other planets after the gods like we have. But it still means I have to make up god names and think about religiong and all that jazz, it's not really slacking off at all to be fair.

So at work I had a code review today and it was grueling. Partly because though I understood it all at the time when I came to actually coding it red lines appeared everywhere - just like misspellings in word and I couldn't for the life of me work out why. That stressed me out not a little and I got all down again which wasn't helpful. Still my mummy is here now and I intend to have a happy weekend at least :)

I really can't think of much else to say so I hope you all had a happy hallowe'en and I'll check in tomorrow :)